Hail, flying shelves, and existential-angst-fueled insomnia


AKA, “It’s 3:20 AM, it’s been stormy all day, and despite emotional fatigue, I can’t sleep because interest rates (rather than sugar plums, for example) keep dancing in my head…”

I think the title I went with is a bit smoother, however.

The weather has been interesting today. Earlier this afternoon, I changed my facebook status to “Ellen is my Oprah”…because she is. Ellen is awesome goodness, and if the entirety of all the goodness and cheer in my personality were squished together into a talk-show host, that talk-show host would be exactly like Ellen. There would have to be an evil, poopy talk-show host made up of my personality left-overs…but let’s leave the hypotheticals out for now.

I needn’t point out the obvious cache Oprah has with the US world universe. An oft-quoted and quite possibly fictional survey once determined that if Oprah ran for President of the US, she’d win by a landslide, no sweat. That, and she can purchase minor deities as a hobby, if she so chooses.

The ever-so-logical leap (I’m sure you’ll take it with me, reader), then, that the intense thunder/lightning/high-wind maelstrom that manifested (quite abruptly) after I changed my facebook status was quite probably the embodiment of Oprah’s omniscient, passing, mild irritation at my hubris is evident.

At some point between the facebook post and the time My Man came home from work, the wind whipped some metal shelves off our veranda and smashed them to the sidewalk one storey below. (Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, Oprah! Why you gotta be like that?) I didn’t distinguish the whip or the crash from the thunder and wind, so I’m not sure when the shelves died.

Much like that Flight of the Conchords episode where the guys find themselves in a gang war with all the rappers (all of them), I find myself bravely holding my own in a meteorological Mexican standoff with Oprah. My standoff is less amusing, isn’t on You Tube, and doesn’t come with awesome music. BUT you know what I do have?

….

HAIL! That’s right! Freakin’ hail. We’ve had hail (teeny hail, about the size of bb’s, but NOT sleet) twice since this afternoon.

Hm. In retrospect, that was pretty anti-climactic.

Anyway, the ongoing storm should make for great sleeping conditions (what a good excuse to curl up in a tight little ball under a fluffy blanket with my gorgeous man)…but all I can think of are our finances, savings, responsible living choices, risk/pros/cons to a variety of rental/buying scenarios regarding housing, and what I want to cook tomorrow (today) [I’m going through a pie-shaped-oven-food phase… probably due to the surplus of veggies in the house and the cold weather]. Plus, I came up with a weird little upcycling design for house slippers involving an ugly plastic tablecloth I’d love to have disappeared from our house, some ugly terry cloth kitchen towels, felt, and a hack on baby booties.

Dude. Something’s wrong with me.

Hm. The wind just stopped. Weird. Man, I’m tired.

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